How to Bounce Back From Failure
Not getting something that you really wanted. We’ve all been there, unfortunately.
I’ve been there three times in the past two months, and it’s not a fun place to be. As a pretty easygoing and hopeful person, I was completely thrown as I read email after email that started with a single word – “Unfortunately…”
It’s pretty devastating. It hurts, especially when you have been told by other people, be it friends or coworkers, who tell you that you would be great for the position. It hurts, especially when you’ve already pictured yourself getting the position and have started planning ahead and around this potential opportunity. It hurts because you were confident. It hurts because they didn’t pick you.
It really, really hurts.
The next few days I found myself constantly wondering what qualities I was lacking. What were they looking for in their candidates that I didn’t have? What made them stand out? What made me not special enough? What could I have done differently? Was I just not enough for them? Did they not like me?
These thoughts kept whirling around and around in my head. Even though my friends, coworkers and loved ones consoled me about my losses (“It’s okay, there will be other opportunities!” “Don’t look back and move on!” “They don’t know what they’re missing!” “They made a mistake!”) it was still a hard pill to swallow. To be rejected three times for positions that I thought I could thrive in really took a toll on my pride, my confidence, and my determination.
I knew that my mind was in a rut. I couldn’t shake the idea of my worthlessness away, even though I had tremendous support from those who cared about me. I started taking steps to bounce back from these failures.
First, I constantly talked to and surrounded myself with those who supported me. These were the people that I knew who cared about me and would talk me through whatever I was feeling. I knew I could share my feelings with them. They always had great advice, or just offered comfort to me. I knew they were on my side, and that’s what I needed.
Second, I changed my focus. This sounds weird, but every time I found myself thinking about all those rejection letters, I would force myself to think of something else. I thought of things that made me happy. I thought of eating. I thought of Disney. I thought of homework. Anything could work— you never know!
Third, I looked to nature. There’s something about surrounding yourself with flowers and birds and infinite color. I took some time off from my usual schedule and walked through some gardens, took some photos, and went home with a smile. It’s soothing to surround yourself with natural noise, and I definitely felt more at peace there than I have the whole month. Also, it’s a free activity!
Fourth, I started to move on. Because I was rejected from a promotion in my current job, I couldn’t help but hold negative feelings towards my job, even though my managers and coworkers are fantastic. Working there served as a constant reminder of what I couldn’t get and brought out my negative thoughts. I knew it was time to move on, even after enjoying two years of working there. I immediately found multiple job opportunities that I wanted to try and realized that I have been trapping myself in this mindset that I was stuck at my current job, that there was no other job I needed because of the security I felt with the one I’m currently in, but I was so wrong. There are so many opportunities out there.
These are just a few steps I took in order to step back from my negative feelings. This is just the start. I know there is so much more out there, but sometimes it’s hard to step back from what you’re feeling and realize that. I realize it now. And like Big Sean, I’m ready to bounce back.